Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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