Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
