So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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