Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
