Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
