Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
