She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you win again, gameday.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
