he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
ugly people sure do ruin things
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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