so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
