I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
