Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
