I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
