I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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