I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
