he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
