Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
