Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The Olympian is in my bed
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
