it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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