please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
