Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
