They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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