Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
do herpes really smell.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
