There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
