I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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