She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
