Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
