the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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