who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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