I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
