I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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