It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
