You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
