Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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