I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
