Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
