a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Randomize
