all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
