I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
