I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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