I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
