I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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