Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
