Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
All the doctor said was why
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
