Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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