I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize