I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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