i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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