Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
