I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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