you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
